It's Time to Stand Up

I need to say something. Ladies of today, yesterday, and the future: listen up. How many times have you heard the phrase, “well, boys will be boys” or “he just needs to sow his wild oats.” About a thousand? Well, I for one, and am sick of it.

Don’t get me wrong—I love it when a guy displays chivalry. I live in the South, where it is common courtesy for males to open doors, allow you to eat first, and pay when you go on dates. And I like it. It makes me feel nice and appreciated. All of that is well and good.

But it really upsets me when people try to excuse young men's occasional ridiculous behavior simply because of their gender. For example, when a guy "plays the field," leading more than one girl along, never staying in a relationship long enough to actually connect with a person, it's okay. But if young woman did such a thing, well, she's slapped with the label "slutty," (excuse my language) and parents warn their sons to steer clear!

I am the oldest of three children. I have a sister who is going to be a sophomore at UGA and a brother in high school. As an older sister, sometimes I worry about my brother. He's on the varsity football and soccer teams at school and hangs out with all the popular kids. Ever seen Mean Girls? As much as people deny it, public high school is basically exactly the same as that movie. Everyone really cares what people think of them, it's looked at as a bit "odd" if you hang out with people other than your designated "group," and it's all about who you are dating, the clothes you wear, and the car you drive. As I was mentioning these thoughts and worries to a friend, he reminds me that Reid has to figure out high school for himself. He tells me, "Reid's the youngest, and he's the only boy. He doesn't really have anyone to look up to. Besides, he's a guy, so give him some slack."

Oh. I wasn't aware that because Alyssa and I are girls, we are not role models. Apparently, even though I am the oldest in the family and definitely had no one to look up to as I left private, tiny Christian school and switched to public, very large high school, I had it easy. Because I'm a girl. I'm expected to have my wits about me at all time, to be organized, to act like a lady. Because I'm a girl.

I'm tired of excuses. I don't want to feel like women are left in the lurch. Did you know that women who hold the same position as a male colleague make as much as 25% less than that male? How many times has your best friend comforted you, saying, "Well, guys will be guys. He needs to get it out of his system." What about my system? What about all the systems of every single woman in the world?

We proclaim equality. Employers advertise their equality. And yet, I look around and it becomes clear that there is no true equality. Until society changes their mindset, women don't get "cut slack." I for one, cannot wait for the day when I am a role model for a younger male. When I can make the same amount as a male colleague. When I can "get it out of my system" or at least stop excusing others because of their gender. It's time. Live it. Proclaim it.

It's time to stand up.