rain dance

David and I

are rain dancing

tribal

intense summer heat

soothed with cool, solid rain

and i understand

that this

is bliss

Future

When I grow up

my house will be filled with laughter

and wind chimes

Thoughts

I'm thinking about the way a certain headband makes me look like Cinderella

I'm thinking about college church and Andrew's message

I'm thinking about the way Jessa's laughter fills me with smiles

I'm thinking about the man I want to be married to

I'm thinking about high school

and theatre

drama

lightening bugs

I'm thinking about the way I try to avoid working out

make excuses

but once I actually do it, I like it

I'm thinking about SLU

teaching a class

being a freshman

and how it feels to be half-way done with college

what do I want to do with my life?

I'm thinking about life

and the sky

and the earth

my potted plants on the back porch, tiny toothpicks holding up the one stalk which might make it

I'm thinking about writing

my journal

the woman at CVS behind me in line

and her leopard print shirt

I'm thinking about camp, and Heather, and how much I love nature

little kids

and water

I'm thinking about Leah

summertime

the wonderful conversation with my father last night

all the poems inside me, waiting to be written

and the song I sing inside my head

It's Time to Stand Up

I need to say something. Ladies of today, yesterday, and the future: listen up. How many times have you heard the phrase, “well, boys will be boys” or “he just needs to sow his wild oats.” About a thousand? Well, I for one, and am sick of it.

Don’t get me wrong—I love it when a guy displays chivalry. I live in the South, where it is common courtesy for males to open doors, allow you to eat first, and pay when you go on dates. And I like it. It makes me feel nice and appreciated. All of that is well and good.

But it really upsets me when people try to excuse young men's occasional ridiculous behavior simply because of their gender. For example, when a guy "plays the field," leading more than one girl along, never staying in a relationship long enough to actually connect with a person, it's okay. But if young woman did such a thing, well, she's slapped with the label "slutty," (excuse my language) and parents warn their sons to steer clear!

I am the oldest of three children. I have a sister who is going to be a sophomore at UGA and a brother in high school. As an older sister, sometimes I worry about my brother. He's on the varsity football and soccer teams at school and hangs out with all the popular kids. Ever seen Mean Girls? As much as people deny it, public high school is basically exactly the same as that movie. Everyone really cares what people think of them, it's looked at as a bit "odd" if you hang out with people other than your designated "group," and it's all about who you are dating, the clothes you wear, and the car you drive. As I was mentioning these thoughts and worries to a friend, he reminds me that Reid has to figure out high school for himself. He tells me, "Reid's the youngest, and he's the only boy. He doesn't really have anyone to look up to. Besides, he's a guy, so give him some slack."

Oh. I wasn't aware that because Alyssa and I are girls, we are not role models. Apparently, even though I am the oldest in the family and definitely had no one to look up to as I left private, tiny Christian school and switched to public, very large high school, I had it easy. Because I'm a girl. I'm expected to have my wits about me at all time, to be organized, to act like a lady. Because I'm a girl.

I'm tired of excuses. I don't want to feel like women are left in the lurch. Did you know that women who hold the same position as a male colleague make as much as 25% less than that male? How many times has your best friend comforted you, saying, "Well, guys will be guys. He needs to get it out of his system." What about my system? What about all the systems of every single woman in the world?

We proclaim equality. Employers advertise their equality. And yet, I look around and it becomes clear that there is no true equality. Until society changes their mindset, women don't get "cut slack." I for one, cannot wait for the day when I am a role model for a younger male. When I can make the same amount as a male colleague. When I can "get it out of my system" or at least stop excusing others because of their gender. It's time. Live it. Proclaim it.

It's time to stand up.

Untitled

I fell in love with the moon

full and round

hanging low in the sky

waiting for me to notice his

deep red of maple's autumn

If I could Fall into a Photograph

I would canoe the amazon

or experience an African safari,

complete with elephants and lions

photographs in National Geographic.

I'd like to live in the top of a New England lighthouse

or permanently in the Caribbean

in a tiki hut, surrounded by blues and greens, clear clear water, and sunshine

I'd fall into a memory

or

into a childhood dream

I'd visit the beauty of New Zealand

and the reefs along Australia

Perhaps I'll live in a quaint house

white picket fence

with 2 kids and a dog

1950's sundress and a new washer and dryer

or a 1920's flapper bar

my favorite kind of music and dancing

living in bright colors

lipstick and short bobs

reds and blacks and silver that pop

gray and sepia-colored to the rest of the world

I'd fall into the Garden of Eden

or a prairie, golden wheat waving in the wind as far as they eye could see

I'd live in eternal Spring

laughter all around me

the sweet sounds of Spring, and nature

bubbling around my ears

I'd like to be in the lush green forest

or horseback riding for miles on a field where we could just run

or sitting on the ground, playing with wiggly, squirming, adorable puppies

laughing until my sides hurt

or bursting with awe and wonder at my maker

I'd visit a Pirate ship

the Great Wall of China

be an astronaut in space, looking down on our beautiful planet

or climb Mount Everest

or dance in a tribal rain dance

or go someplace quiet, with you

If i could fall into a photograph,

I'd fall into a memory

or

a childhood dream